Thursday, January 15, 2009


The manager of the Kansas City Force has been named...."Walter".


An old sour looking man approaches the podium. There is applause.

Walter: "Oh, shut the hell up!"

Reporter: "What's wrong? Aren't you glad to be in Kansas City?"

Walter: "Oh sure, until a tornado hits my house while I'm on the toilet."

Rep: "We've all been looking for some kind of information on you but there isn't anything."

Walt: "Good, you should mind your own damned business."

Rep: "You don't seem to have a last name."

Walt: "The IRS is looking for me."

Rep: "Why would the owner of the club hire you. You have no previous baseball experience!"

Walt: "Oh yes I do....I'm made of wood."

Rep: "Who's the guy holding you up to the podium?"

Walt: "Oh, he's just my associate. Let's just call him Jeff."

Rep: "What does Jeff do?"

Walt: "He holds me up to the podium! Dumbass."

Rep: "Do you have a wife?"

Walt: "Yes" (frown)

Rep: "Is she having a good time in the big city?"

Walt: "She always has a good time.....dammit."

Rep: "Was that her on the phone just before this press conference?"

Walt: "Yea, we got into an arguement and I hung up on her."

Rep: "What did she do?"

Walt: "She called me back and asked me if I hung up on her."

Rep: "What did you say?"

Walt: "I said to her I don't know, did it sound something like"

Laughter from the crowd

Walt: "Oh, quiet down. Dumbasses."

Rep: "What are your plans for the team?"

Walt: "This team sucks. I'm going to try and make it suck less."

Rep: "Do you think more fans will come out to watch?"

Walt: "They spend money on high ticket prices, toll costs, parking, food and souveniers to watch a bunch of grown men play a child's game? They're a bunch of dumbasses is what they are!"

Reporter stands up and begins to leave the room

Walt: "Hey you, where the hell do you think you're going?"

Rep: "I've to to go to the bathroom."

Walt: "Just hold it. I do. Actually, I have too!"

Rep: "I'm leaving."

Walt: "Ok, we'll just wait."

Walter sits quietly and....waits.

Walt: "Hey Jeff, do you think he can hear us in there?"

Jeff: "Probably"

Walt: "Hey dumbass! Is it difficult to go when we're all waiting for you?"

Reporter finally comes back.

Walt: "Did you hear me when you were in there?"

Rep: "No."

Walt: "Well, we could hear you....and you didn't wash your hands!"

Reporter looks embarrased.

Walt: "Dumbass."

1 comment:

RichmondCannons said...

Great work.

Hopefully I will satrt posting more here. I would love to start blogging about what I am trying to do with my team.

Richmond Cannons